Saturday, 29 December 2012

Sex and your period

I came across this article and thought I share the message  yea we tend to shy away from some certain topics but truth be told, if it is part of life, then we all need the knowledge, it might be stale news for some, but great discovery for some other! Enjoy your read!

What’s going on in your body
When you're on your period, your body doesn’t undergo any physiological changes. There’s no swelling or narrowing and you won’t have any particular sensitivity. The triggers for menstruation are connected to changes in the mucus in the uterus, caused by hormonal fluctuations at the end of the menstrual cycle. How heavy your period is and how long it lasts varies from person to person. It can be between 5ml and 25ml and last between two and six days for a 28-day cycle.
As a result of these hormonal changes, some women can experience different unpleasant symptoms like cramps, nausea, headaches, tiredness and anxiety caused by a particularly heavy flow. These problems can get in the way of socialising and your love life. For the majority of women, there’s nothing to stop you making love when you have your period. From a medical point of view, menstrual blood only becomes a problem if individuals have sexually transmitted diseases. In these cases, the blood can encourage the infection to pass from one person to the other. If you could be at risk you should always use protection.

Old wives’ tales
Finally, here are a few explanations behind the old wives tales that surface again and again, I must say though that some of them are quite interesting lol!
Can you still get pregnant when you have sex during your period?
It’s still possible to fall pregnant when you have sex during menstruation. Female fertility levels are generally higher during ovulation. In cases where the menstrual cycle is disrupted, fertilisation can take place before a woman has finished her period. If you don’t want to get pregnant, make sure you continue to use contraception during this time of the month.
Is it dangerous if you forget to take your tampon out?
It’s unlikely that neither of you will notice the presence of a tampon, but if your passion takes over you’ll still be able to take it out afterwards. This means there’s no risk where tampons are concerned.

Ellys Thoughts....

Make 2013, a year you drawer closer to your maker! Yes.
Fulfillment cannot come from the acquisition of wealth, the progression to a certain level, the actualization of a career/dream, a successful relationship etc.The importance of all these however cannot be watered down, but the reality of life is that there is a vacuum in our life, that God and only God can fill. Make 2013, a year you discover God through His word. 

Message from God
The words you are about to experience are true. They will change your life if you let them, for they come from the very heart of God. He loves you. And He is the Father you have been looking for all your life.


‘God has surely listened and has heard my prayer.’

PSALM 66:19

The Psalmist wrote: ‘If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer’ (vv. 18-19). The character flaws you are working on, and your tendency to stumble from time to time, don’t disqualify you from God’s blessing. The sin you ‘cherish’ does that. In prayer the first thing God will want to talk to you about is usually the last thing you want to talk to Him about—namely, the sin you don’t want to let go of. It will actually keep you from the place of prayer. When Adam sinned he hid from God, saying, ‘I heard Your voice…and I was afraid because I was naked...’ (Genesis 3:10 NKJV). Billy Graham said: ‘The Christian should have an appetite for prayer. He should want to pray. One does not have to force food upon a healthy child. Exercise, good circulation, health and labour demand food for sustenance. So it is with those who are spiritually healthy. They have an appetite for the Word of God and for prayer. A little girl committed a certain offence and when her mother discovered it she began to question her daughter. Immediately the child lost her smile and a cloud darkened her face as she said, “Mother, I don’t feel like talking.” So it is with us when our fellowship with God is broken by sin in our lives. We do not feel like talking to Him.’ So, if you don’t feel like praying today, it’s probably a good indication that you need to.


‘…He knelt down…three times [a] day, and prayed...’

Peter, whom God used to help build the church, and John, whom God used to write the book of Revelation, made time in their daily schedule for prayer. ‘Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour’ (Acts 3:1 NKJV). The apostle Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament, said, ‘Never stop praying’ (1Thessalonians 5:17 NLT). Daniel’s habit of praying was so well-known that his enemies used it to trap him. ‘…He knelt down on his knees three times [a] day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom since early days. Then these men assembled and found Daniel praying...’ (Daniel 6:10-11 NKJV). End of story? No, Daniel’s prayers shut the mouths of lions and caused a heathen king to say: ‘Men must tremble and fear before the God of Daniel. For He is the living God…His kingdom is the one which shall not be destroyed…He delivers and rescues, and He works signs and wonders in heaven and on earth, Who has delivered Daniel from the power of the lions. So…Daniel prospered…’ (26-28 NKJV). The Psalmist wrote: ‘He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty’ (Psalm 91:1 NKJV). Once you identify your ‘secret place’ and begin to use it regularly, a kind of aura surrounds it. You will grow to love it, and eventually it will become the most important place in your life. The power of prayer defies calculation. Nothing lies beyond the reach of prayer, except that which lies outside the will of God.


‘Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.’

LUKE 5:16
Habits are powerful things. We form our habits, then our habits form us. So this year are you going to stop talking about it, and make it a habit to spend time with God in prayer each day? If your desire is to be like Jesus, you must begin to pray regularly, for He ‘often withdrew to lonely places and prayed’. Don’t let the word ‘lonely’ intimidate you. Once you cultivate an awareness of God’s presence, you’ll prefer His company to that of anybody else. Don’t let the word ‘withdrew’ intimidate you. Just shut off your TV, your computer and your mobile phone and you’ll make a wonderful discovery: ‘…In thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore’ (Psalm 16:11KJV). John Wesley said, ‘I have so much to do that I must spend several hours in prayer before I am able to do it.’ Martin Luther said, ‘Prayer is the most important thing in my life. If I should neglect prayer for a single day, I should lose a great deal of the fire of faith.’ The hymnist wrote: ‘Sweet hour of prayer, sweet hour of prayer, that calls me from a world of care. And bids me at my Father’s throne, make all my wants and wishes known. In seasons of distress and grief my soul has often found relief, and often escaped the tempter’s snare, by thy return, sweet hour of prayer.’ When the disciples asked Jesus about prayer, He began by saying, ‘When you pray...’ (Matthew 6:9-15 NCV). He assumed they’d have a regular time for prayer. Could He assume that about you?

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Squeezing breasts could stop growth of cancer cells

Squeezing breasts 'could stop growth of cancer cells'

  • Experts found physical force can play a role in the growth - and reversion - of cancer cells
  • Squashing malignant cells made them grow in a more normal and organised way
  • Research could help experts track down molecules that could be targeted for therapies

A little squeeze may be all that it takes to prevent malignant breast cells triggering cancer, research has shown.
Laboratory experiments showed that applying physical pressure to the cells guided them back to a normal growth pattern.
Scientists believe the research provides clues that could lead to new treatments.
Squashing breast cells encouraged them to grow in a regular way. However, scientists don't believe compressing breast tissue would have a beneficial effect
Squashing breast cells encouraged them to grow in a regular way. However, scientists don't believe compressing breast tissue would have a beneficial effect
'People have known for centuries that physical force can influence our bodies,' said Gautham Venugopalan, a leading member of the research team at the University of California in Berkeley, US. 
'When we lift weights our muscles get bigger. The force of gravity is essential to keeping our bones strong. Here we show that physical force can play a role in the growth - and reversion - of cancer cells.'
The study involved growing malignant breast epithelial cells within a gel injected into flexible silicone chambers.
This allowed the scientists to apply compression during the first stages of cell growth, effectively squashing the cells.
Over time, the squeezed malignant cells began to grow in a more normal and organised way.

Once the breast tissue structure was formed the cells stopped growing, even when the compressive force was removed. Non-compressed cells continued to display the haphazard and uncontrolled growth that leads to cancer.
'Malignant cells have not completely forgotten how to be healthy; they just need the right cues to guide them back to a healthy growth pattern,' said Mr Venugopalan, a doctoral student.
The results were presented today at the annual meeting of the American Society for Cell Biology in San Francisco.
Human breast cancer cells dividing: Malignant cells can be reminded how to be healthy according to experts
Human breast cancer cells dividing: Malignant cells can be reminded how to be healthy according to experts
Professor Daniel Fletcher, who runs the Berkeley laboratory, said: 'We are showing that tissue organisation is sensitive to mechanical inputs from the environment at the beginning stages of growth and development.
'An early signal, in the form of compression, appears to get these malignant cells back on the right track.'

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

5 Things That Really Smart People Do

Don't get in the way of your own learning. Here are five ways to step aside and continue to increase your smarts

 Most people don't really think much about how they learn. Generally you assume learning comes naturally. You listen to someone speak either in conversation or in a lecture and you simply absorb what they are saying, right? Not really. In fact, I find as I get older that real learning takes more work. The more I fill my brain with facts, figures, and experience, the less room I have for new ideas and new thoughts. Plus, now I have all sorts of opinions that may refute the ideas being pushed at me. Like many people I consider myself a lifelong learner, but more and more I have to work hard to stay open minded.

But the need for learning never ends, so your desire to do so should always outweigh your desire to be right. The world is changing and new ideas pop up everyday; incorporating them into your life will keep you engaged and relevant. The following are the methods I use to stay open and impressionable. They'll work for you too. No matter how old you get.

1. Quiet Your Inner Voice

You know the one I am talking about. It's the little voice that offers a running commentary when you are listening to someone. It's the voice that brings up your own opinion about the information being provided. It is too easy to pay more attention to the inner voice than the actual speaker. That voice often keeps you from listening openly for good information and can often make you shut down before you have heard the entire premise. Focus less on what your brain has to say and more on the speaker. You may be surprised at what you hear.

2. Argue With Yourself

If you can't quiet the inner voice, then at least use it to your advantage. Every time you hear yourself contradicting the speaker, stop and take the other point of view. Suggest to your brain all the reasons why the speaker may be correct and you may be wrong. In the best case you may open yourself to the information being provided. Failing that, you will at least strengthen your own argument.

3. Act Like You Are Curious

Some people are naturally curious and others are not. No matter which category you are in you can benefit from behaving like a curious person. Next time you are listening to information, make up and write down three to five relevant questions. If you are in a lecture, Google them after for answers. If you are in a conversation you can ask the other person. Either way you'll likely learn more, and the action of thinking up questions will help encode the concepts in your brain. As long as you're not a cat you should benefit from these actions of curiosity.

4. Find the Kernel of Truth

No concept or theory comes out of thin air. Somewhere in the elaborate concept that sounds like complete malarkey there is some aspect that is based upon fact. Even if you don't buy into the idea, you should at least identify the little bit of truth from whence it came. Play like a detective and build your own extrapolation. You'll enhance your skills of deduction and may even improve the concept beyond the speaker's original idea.

5. Focus on the Message Not the Messenger

Often people shut out learning due to the person delivering the material. Whether it's a boring lecturer, someone physically unappealing, or a member of the opposite political party, the communicator can impact your learning. Even friends can disrupt the learning process since there may be too much history and familiarity to see them as an authority on a topic. Separate the material from the provider. Pretend you don't know the person or their beliefs so you can hear the information objectively. As for the boring person, focus on tip two, three, or four as if it were a game, thereby creating your own entertainment.

A cut above!

Yes christmas is a time of sharing, love, and all that reminds you of the beauty of life. Be it as it may, it  may be a time when you plan to pop the "BIG QUESTION" or better still remind the special one in your life, of what they  mean to you. And what better way to do that, than with that lovely piece of jewellry, and if its got some bling, all the better lol. No matter how hard we try, to convince our selves, value is placed on price. I came across this site and fell in love with what I saw and thought I had share it for, the late Christmas shoppers who are still indecisive on the item to purchase. I have not purchased any items from the site though, so before you do, viewer discretion as well as reviews advised. Enjoy!

"Huggable" Diamond Earrings   6 Prong "Martini" Earring Settings

"Fiotto" Diamond Engagement Ring   "Saturo" Diamond Engagement Ring

"Infinity" Diamond Engagement Ring  "Diamond Waffle" Cuff Links"Domed Heart Pave" Diamond Pendant "Three-Prong" Diamond Tennis Bracelet

He will let you strain,shake and sweat, but he wont let you break.-UCB

‘…He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear...’
The Bible says, ‘He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.’ You have been tempered for the test! Like tempered steel or glass, certain additives have been placed within you to increase your ability to stand up to the pressures life will throw at you. The fact that you’ve been exposed to this level of testing is a sign that God has given you the grace to handle it. He’s not going to let you escape this trial, because He’s equipped you to deal with it. So stop feeling sorry for yourself, or giving up, or saying you can’t take it anymore.
Not everybody in a gym can handle the same level of weight because each is at a different stage of development. But the trainer knows. He will push you to your limit, but he will never add one weight more than you can carry. God is a good trainer and He’s working according to a plan. He not only knows the right technique, He knows how much weight needs to be added in order to get you to the next stage of development. He will let you strain, shake and sweat, but He won’t let you break. While you are focused on temporary stuff like getting a better house or car or job, He has something entirely different in mind: ‘We…are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord…’ (2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV). Once you understand this and line up your will with God’s will, you’ll begin to appreciate what He’s doing and cooperate with Him.

Christmas and dieting

My parents just came over to mine as we would be spending the christmas together and no long had we come in from the airport she goes, dear I think you have put on some weight since I last saw you in july, this deflated my ego a bit as everyone had been telling me contrary, though I knew in me though that some areas really needed extra workouts, I guess you know the areas I mean
Wouldn't it be nice if you could eat whatever you wanted, blow off working out and still fit in your skinny jeans? While that's unlikely, it is possible to speed up your metabolism, that little engine in your body that burns calories. As you age, your metabolism slows down, chiefly because you lose around a half pound of muscle each year. "If you don't use the muscle, it atrophies," explains Pamela Peeke, M.D., professor of medicine at the University of Maryland and author of Fight Fat After Forty. That translates into burning about 400 fewer calories each day, which could mean gaining a pound a week. But there's plenty you can do to rev your fat-burning furnace back up again, says Peeke. Here's the skinny:

Stock up on green tea
Green tea isn't known only for its cancer-fighting benefits: It may help boost your metabolism, too. People who took green-tea extract three times a day saw their metabolic rate increase by about 4 percent, according to a study published in the December 1999 American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. (Translation: You could burn an extra 60 calories a day, which equals about six pounds a year!) It may be because green tea contains catechins, which increase levels of the metabolism-speeding brain chemical norepinephrine, says Joy Bauer, a New York City nutritionist and author of Cooking with Joy.

Pump iron
Weight training is the ultimate way to burn calories fast. "A pound of muscle burns up to nine times the calories of a pound of fat, Weight training increases your resting metabolic rate, which is the number of calories you burn while sitting on your butt. What's more, it gives your metabolism an added boost after you exercise: It remains in overdrive for up to two hours after the last bench press, according to a study published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise. Strapped for time? Try these quick moves: squats, bench step-ups, lunges, push-ups, pull-ups and crunches. In a pinch, just do single sets of 10 for each exercise -- you'll get optimal results for the time invested.

Eat iron
Yeah, we just told you to pump iron, but you also need to eat it. "If you don't have enough of this mineral, your body can't get enough oxygen to your cells, which slows down your metabolism," explains Samantha Heller, R.D., a nutritionist at the New York University Medical Center. Most multivitamins contain around 18 mg (the RDA for adults); you can also get your fill by eating three to four daily servings of foods rich in iron, such as lean red meat, chicken, fortified cereal and soy nuts. If you are feeling symptoms such as fatigue and weakness, ask your doctor to test you for anemia (it's a simple blood test) at your next physical.

Order water -- and ask for a refill
A new German study found that when you drink 17 ounces of water (about two glasses) within a certain time frame, your metabolic rate shoots up by about 30 percent. Using these results, they estimate that by increasing your current water intake by 1.5 liters a day, a person would burn an extra 17,400 calories a year, resulting in about a five-pound

Thursday, 13 December 2012

Ellys Thoughts....

                        Time is more powerful than you....
                            One tree makes a million match sticks...
                                But only one match stick can burn a million trees.
                                   Be good, goodness will surely turn back to you someday.
                                      Always remember that the same sun that melts the wax, also hardens the clay

Tuesday, 11 December 2012


This month is one of the special months of the year in my family, as it happens to be the month my dear parents said "I Do" to each other some 32 years ago in the amazing city of Athens. Yes  you had me right 32 years ago, I know it sounds like an  anomaly in this present era, and I wonder what they had, and still have that this generation lacks. Dont get me wrong, growing up we saw it all, the good, bad and ugly times. But amidst everything I saw so much contentment in my parents marriage. My mum isnt as beautiful as a mermaid, and my father didnt have the wealth of Richard Branson, but they were so content in whom they were and what they shared for each other, and this they inculcated in my brothers and I. They also thought us that just like seasons, bad times will pass and that situations will always turn out for the best and this has helped me through the years. I have got a copy of their wedding invitation and their quote was, "The woman was not taken from the feet of man to be his slave, or from his head to be lord over him, but from his side, to be loved by him, close to his heart to feel his heartbeat and be his heartbeat.I was managing a couples accounts some time last week and as we had a little banter, I asked them what plans they had for Christmas and they had so much outlined and at the end of the statement the lady goes "We mark our anniversary, we have been married for 52 years" and  at this point, tears welled up in my eyes.
Finding fulfillment in a relationship is a choice we have to make. And the choices we make, are dependent largely on what we place our values on.
               *THINK LONGTERM*

                            E. Q . U . A . L .I . T. Y


                                THE WOMAN CAME FROM A MANS RIB
                                 NOT FROM HIS FEET TO BE WALKED ON,
                                 NOT FROM HIS HEAD TO BE SUPERIOR,
                                 BUT FROM HIS SIDE TO BE EQUAL,
                                 UNDER HIS ARM TO BE PROTECTED,
                                 AND NEXT TO HIS HEART TO BE LOVED.

The best things in life are free, appreciate the ones whom God has put in your life today cos tomorrow you might not have the opportunity to do so.


‘…He who abides in Me…bears much fruit...’

JOHN 15:5

Some folk view the Christian life as a bed of roses, others see it as a battlefield. The first group says, ‘If I’ve enough faith I’ll never be sick, broke, or have problems.’ The second group says, ‘I have more troubles than Job.’ The truth is, your faith level is revealed by hard times. When your back is to the wall financially you need faith to believe that God is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides. When you’re battling illness you need faith to believe He’s Jehovah Rapha, the great physician who promises to heal. Jesus said, ‘He who abides in Me…bears much fruit.’ Notice, the blessing comes from ‘abiding’ and staying close to the Lord. Getting excited about fruit before you’ve learned to sow seed means you end up serving God for what He does, instead of who He is to you. And here’s another thought: Don’t use your faith to belittle others. Just because you have graduated, don’t burn down the school! Remember the tests you didn’t do so well in? But God brought you through, didn’t He? And He will bring them through too! Yes, the Christian life is a battlefield. And the level of attack is determined by the size of your God-given assignment and the rewards that await you beyond it. So in that sense, satan’s attack is a compliment. The truth lies in the middle. You will be regularly pruned for greater fruitfulness. But that’s when it’s even more important to abide. So don’t give up, and don’t collapse, for beyond this test you’ll have a testimony to God’s goodness.

Monday, 10 December 2012

The Importance of selective listening!!!

I saw this note on a friend's wall and am sure it will really help u guys!!!
“Biyi hasn't worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with resentment. “For real?” “He’s been trying,” I say in feeble attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the economy is.”

…My husband and I had vowed never to bring in a third party into our relationship but with a bank account screaming for revival, I need to share my burden with someone else. I grip the phone. Dayo is unusually quiet. “You still there?” I ask. “Hello?” “I am here,” she says. “I just didn't know things were this bad. And all this while, I thought Biyi was providing for the home.” But he is, I argue silently. Well, maybe not financially for now, but in every way else, Biyi is a rock. “It’s not that bad.” My words sound frail. Dayo clucks her tongue. “You might as well be a widow.”
The words hit me like a fist. “Na you I blame,” she continues, oblivious to the damage her words have caused.

“Me? Why?” She is blaming me for this? Seriously?
“Why do you keep paying the bills?”
“Because there is no one else to do it,” I protest, upset.
“For real? He drives your car too?”
“He needs it,” I mutter. “To attend job interviews and stuff. He gets back late sometimes.”
“How late are you talking?
“Nine, ten…ish.”

Dayo pauses for a second. “I hate to say this gurl, but your husband spending your money on another woman.” Whoa! Hang on. Where did that come from? “Haba, Dayo. Biyi would never—” “Look, I know men,” she slices in. “You are his moneybag and he will take you for a ride as long as it takes. Where is your dignity, gurl?” Ride. Dignity. Moneybag. Ouch. “But he’s a good guy,” I manage. Can my husband be using me? It had never crossed my mind in the past, but I now wonder if Biyi is actually having an affair.

“I trust my wonderful Dennis…,” Dayo is saying. I barely listen. My eyes are on the clock. It’s almost midnight and Biyi isn’t home. I force myself to hear what Dayo is saying about Dennis Ono, her multimillionair­ e-oil- company-golden-­ husband. Gosh I envy her life, her perfect marriage. “My marriage is wonderful,” Dayo says, as if in affirmation to my undeclared words. “But only because I show Dennis who the boss is. He cannot try nonsense with me. Abi, you think it’s easy to get ten thousand pounds a month as pocket money?” She really gets ten grand a month? That’s like, my entire annual salary in my crappy job plus bonuses. Life is unfair. Honestly. “I am Biyi’s wife,” I say. “I cannot just desert him.” Or can I? At this rate… “In that case,” there is an edge to her voice now, “give him an ultimatum. He gets a job in two weeks or you are out of that marriage.”

“Look, I know his type,” she says with conviction. “He conveniently won’t get a job as long as you keep dishing out your money.”
“Starve him,” she adds. “No sex. Make life hell. You are not an ATM machine.”

Keys jangle in the hallway. Biyi is home. “Talk later,” I say to Dayo. “He’s back.” “Stand your ground,” Dayo whispers menacingly. “Ultimatum. Two weeks.” I hang up with a sigh. My husband is leaning against the door frame. For a second my heart falters. He looks tired, drawn. But Dayo’s words punctuate my compassion. “Where have you been?” Biyi gives me a side smile. “No hug?” I jerk my head at the wall clock.” Its midnight.” “I had a job interview in Birmingham,” he says. “I called you tell you I was stuck in traffic but I kept getting your voice mail  What’s wrong?” I cock my head. Is that a whiff of female perfume? It is. Dayo is right. He has been with another woman. With my car. Spending my money. My head spins. “Biyi,” I glare at him, “Where are you coming from?” He steps back, surprised. “I went to Birmingham—”
“Did you get it?” I screech. “The job?”
Biyi shakes his head. “I didn't—”
This is the last straw. I wrench my hand out. “My car keys.”
He gives me a hard level stare. “What is wrong with you, Toni? Did I offend you?”
“Pass my keys!”

He thrusts the car keys to into my palm. I push past him, grab my duffel bag and stuff my overnight things into it. I know I am acting crazy but I have to show him that I would not be taken for a ride. That I am not a moneybag. That I have dignity. I zip the bag up and spin around. My husband is staring at me. “Is everything all right with you, sweetheart?”
“Get out of my way.”
“Where are you going with that bag?”
“I need to clear my head.” I am still yelling.
“Can we talk first?” Biyi suggests.
“I don’t want to talk. Get out of my way.”
He moves out of my path. I swipe a hand across my face, smearing my cheeks with mascara. “Don’t look for me. I will be back when my head clears.” I rush out of the house, jump into my car. My rage doubles as the feminine scent permeates the car. He has been with a woman in my car. I feel like an idiot.

* * *

I pull up in front of Dayo’s mansion. Her husband’s Porsche is in the driveway, and the porch lights illuminate my dreary form as I reach the door. I ball my fists to knock, but a scream freezes the motion.
“Kill me!” I hear Dayo scream. “Good for nothing idiot. Womaniser of the century!” Whoa. Momentarily, I am unable to move. My hand hovers in the air. Dull thuds, muffled screams. Dennis curses. “I warned you never to serve me stew that is not freshly cooked!” “Am I your slave?” Dayo yells back. “If you want fresh stew, get your PA to cook it for you. Or you think I don’t know about her? You think…”
Dayo’s words are silenced by another thump. My hands fall to my side as a flurry of blows stifle her cries. I want call the police, do something…anyth­ ing. But I cannot move. And so I shut my eyes tight and listen as my friend is pummelled by her husband. The beating stops. I should dash to my car, but something holds me back. “I am sorry I got you upset darling,” Dayo finally says. Her voice is laced with pain. “It is my fault. I should have cooked for you. I…Toni wouldn’t let me get off the phone…its her fault.”
“Next time you talk to me like that, I will tattoo a punch on your forehead,” Dennis growls. “Get into the kitchen and make me fresh stew. And do something about that leech you call a friend.”
That is enough for me. I sprint back to my car and drive home.

* * *
A knock sounds on the window. Biyi. I wind down and he gives me a smile. “Head clear now?” he asks. “Leave me alone,” I mutter. Dayo’s wonderful Denis beats her up? And she never mentioned?
“I will leave you alone in two seconds,” Biyi says. There is a twinkle in his eyes. “But first, get out of the car.” I oblige, grudgingly. “What?” He reaches under the car seat and pulls out a small basket. “I didn’t come home straight from the interview. I stopped over at the Perfume shop to get you this.” He hands the basket over. Inside is a range of exotic feminine perfumes and a small card. I pull the card open, read the words: “Thank you for your support during the hardest times of my life! I love you.”

“That’s why I was late,” he explains as he pulls me into a warm embrace. “You have been so good to me, Toni. I couldn't have asked for a better wife.” I can’t reply. My throat is lumpy.
“When you left the house to clear your head, I got a call back from the recruiter,” he says with a beam. “God answers prayers, babe. I got the job. It’s a package you won’t believe. Let’s go in. I’ll tuck you into bed and you can tell me what’s bothering you?”

* * *
I awaken to a text message from Dayo. “Denis is flying me to Seychelles this weekend. This is what you get when you stand your ground. You have to be a no nonsense gurl! Don’t you just love my life? Ciao sweetheart xxx.”

I type a quick response back: “Ciao! and i deleted her number right away.

Now, this is one story every woman should read. The grass is never greener on the other side, best believe that. No matter how good a friend’s marriage is, NEVER EVER compare with yours. It’s DEADLY and could cost you so much!

Ellys thoughts.....

Never burn bridges, you never know> You just might need to walk through the path again.
            *Think Longterm*

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Stress Management

A little bit of stress isn't a bad thing: it mobilises our bodies and energises us during the coping process. But being overstressed can result in a range of health problems, including headaches, upset stomach, high blood pressure and even strokes or heart disease.

Coping with stress

One of the first steps to cope with stress is learning to recognise your personal signs and symptoms. The way you function on a daily basis may change, or you may notice a difference in your body (such as tense shoulders), thinking, or general sense of wellbeing. Is the cause for your stress a real threat? Or is something causing needless worry in your life?

Stress is part of life but we don't need to compound our problems by putting ourselves down and thinking irrational thoughts such as "nobody gets stressed out like I do". We're not weak or neurotic because we're stressed - we're stressed because we're human. Blaming ourselves or doling out negative thoughts as self-imposed punishment is a waste of energy.

Approaching stress constructively

It can be tempting to hide from the people, places and tasks which make life difficult. By removing yourself from the situation, it's possible to find immediate relief - but the sources of stress will never go away unless we confront them.

If avoiding stress triggers isn't a good technique for dealing with stress, what is? Life experience teaches us that whenever we need to master a new skill - learning to swim, giving a public presentation, taking risks in front of others - it pays to take a deep breath, perhaps grit our teeth and get on with things. Most of the time, it all works out.

Positive confrontation is a good coping skill when faced with stress. Instead of avoiding a difficult boss, why not take every opportunity to work in his or her presence? Throwing ourselves in at the deep end until we master it is one way to desensitise ourselves to the people, places and work we find stressful. Taking action is good for our basic wellbeing too.

Another approach to tackling stress head-on is to keep tabs on our stress while we're working. Logging the time of day, situation, how strong feelings of stress were, how you coped and how stressed you felt afterwards can be a useful tool for some people. This can give us an accurate idea of when and where we get anxious, and what coping skills work for us in certain situations.

Another way to take action on stress is to control the body and mind. Self-relaxation leading up to stressful times (as well as afterwards) and positive self-talk ("I have the skills to do this job well", "I've done this a dozen times before") are excellent skills to have. Sometimes our perceptions of a situation may be inaccurate - interpretations of an event or situation may be more negative when we're down or dissatisfied.

It's possible to test our perceptions. Keeping a record (as recommended above) can be one way to get a fresh view of a situation. Also, we can label the strong, stressful emotions we're feeling as either positive or negative. So, before the next bout of stage fright, try calling it "excitement" and see what happens.

Enduring, mastering (and surviving) what life throws at us, and converting stress into a positive force, is a lifelong challenge. Everyone needs a certain amount of stress - it's what gets us out of bed in the morning - but remember to be gentle with yourself.

Resting In the Lord; The grace to pray & wait

Neh 1:5-11
Most times when situations arise, being children of God who know the power and essence of talking to our father and taking every burden to him in prayer, we eagerly pray but lack the patience to wait for His response. In this microwave generation, we tend to box God up by our microwave prayers as well as expecting express answers. Hello! we are not speaking about instant coffee here, or fast food meals. Its a life/destiny/future that is to be determined, and don't we think its worth the wait?
Nehemiah was a man who prayed to the Lord but not only did he pray but he waited for an answer. Its hard to rely on prayer alone when we want fast results, but by being hasty, we act on impulse without truly waiting on the Lord which comes with REGRETS most times.
Sarah had started her wait for a child but when she felt she had waited long enough, she brought in her maid and by opening the door of her bedroom to her maid, she unknowingly opened the door to her sorrows

When Saul (1Sam 13:10) felt he had waited long enough and that the people were scattering and that the strength of his camp was decreasing, he offered the sacrifice but you know what, SACRIFICES ARE MEANT FOR PRIESTS AND NOT KINGS. And because Saul failed to realize this   no sooner did Samuel arrive. May we never be faster than our God but let us let Him lead us each step of the way. Patience is a virtue we should all pray to have.

Being patient with God means, LOVING GOD UNDER TRIALS!

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