Quite a while back ago, I read this article which I found quite interesting and I saved it to post at an appropriate time but with all that's been happening, I have not been able to do it. It is by Dr Travis Bradberry & I read via Linked In last year.
I felt like I was practically reading the bible at some point 😃 but come to think of it, the bible is the foundation for success(my opinion) so its not a surprise that a lot of success guidelines are linked back to the bible. The article has been modified slightly by me but nothing has been done to change his views... Hope you learn a thing or two...
Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as
being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the
pack. The connection is so strong that 90% of top performers have high
emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that
is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social
complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.
Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes
it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve if
you’re lacking. These 15 signs however give an indication that you are
emotionally intelligent;
You Have a Robust
Emotional Vocabulary
All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who
can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36% of
people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go
misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.
People with high EQs master their emotions because they
understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so.
While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,”
emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,”
“frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice,
the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and
what you should do about it.
You’re Curious about
People
It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted,
emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This
curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a
high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through,
the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.
You Embrace Change
Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are
constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major
threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking
just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes
occur.
You Know Your
Strengths and Weaknesses
Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand
emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They
also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and
people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your
strengths and you know how to lean into them and use them to your full
advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.
You’re a Good Judge
of Character
Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social
awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and
understand what they're going through. Over time, this skill makes you an
exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know what
they’re all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden
beneath the surface.
You Are Difficult to Offend
If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for
someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent
people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin.
You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you
because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.
You Let Go of
Mistakes
Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from
their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at
a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and
adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this
tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes
you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound
to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures
into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up
every time you fall down.
You Don’t Hold
Grudges
The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge
are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body
into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and
fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is
imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is
ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can
have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory
University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood
pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto
stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs.
Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve
your health.
You Neutralize Toxic
People
Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting
for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by
keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person,
they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and
don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the
difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground.
Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to
take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring
them down.
You Don’t Seek
Perfection
Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their
target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very
nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a
nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort.
You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what
you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what
you've achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.
You Disconnect
Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ
because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the
moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself
to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and
even—gulp!—turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies
have shown that something as simple as an e-mail break can lower stress levels.
Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be
available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside
of work when an e-mail that will change your train of thought and get you
thinking (read: stressing) about work can drop onto your phone at any moment.
You Limit Your
Caffeine Intake
Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release
of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response.
The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster
response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not
so great when you’re responding to a curt e-mail. When caffeine puts your brain
and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your
behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its
sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that
caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.
You Get Enough Sleep
It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to
increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When
you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories
and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert
and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention,
and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough—or the right kind—of
sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.
You Stop Negative
Self-Talk in Its Tracks
The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power
you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts.
When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s
natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an
event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts
in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new
outlook.
You Won’t Let Anyone
Limit Your Joy
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived
from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own
happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that
they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away
from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others
think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always
take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other
people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.
Bringing It All
Together
Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train
your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, it
builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. As your brain reinforces
the use of these new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive
behaviors die off. Before long, you begin responding to your surroundings with
emotional intelligence without even having to think about it.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/15-signs-you-emotionally-intelligent-dr-travis-bradberry?trk=v-feed&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_feed%3B0ovumRr1uelcmEKN8MRXLw%3D%3D
