THE FACE! THE VOICE! THE BLOG!......kaleidoscopic views of the past year

Reviewing the past is particularly significant when trying to make sense of the present. Being human means thinking and feeling: it means reflecting on the past and visioning into the future. The end of the year most times, brings up memories of the successes we achieved, the failures we encountered, the challenges we felt were from the deep part of hell and most importantly the lessons we learnt, which helps us build the future we want. I have always known what my passion is, but October of 2012, I set the platform to help me fulfill this vision which is the blog we have got here. I decided however to do a video to express my gratitude and spill a bit of my plans, but I think I spilled so much for this video(smiles). Its not the best of videos, there is so much editing that needs to be done. However in 5 years, I will let you know why I decided to put out the raw video with all the flaws. So take it easy on me guys(smiles).The next videos will be almost seamless I hope lol!. The clock is ticking and the curtains are drawing on 2013, but as we go into the new year, the best advice I will give you is this, if new year resolutions work for you,then make good plans and stick to them. If they dont, just ensure that before December of 2014, you have improved on yourself a great deal. Learn a new skill, get a new qualification, improve your health/wellbeing, deepen your relationship with God and always leave people feeling better than you met them YES! Dont just exsist, LIVE and LIVE WELL!! See you in 2014.....

Merry Christmas...

This is wishing all my wonderful readers a very Merry Christmas from my very lovely self Yes! Very lovely Indeed, not just lovely but highly blessed and most importantly with a heartbeat for God which is paramount. Regardless of the food and drink, Christmas aint complete without Christ. He did not come into the world to put us in debt, so if you cant afford it, delay self gratification. Most importantly, make peace with the reason for the season and let this peace and love radiate to all around you. Thanks for stopping by, I have to check on the turkey guys.... lol. Once again have a Happpppppy Christmas.......

The Christ Of Christmas

Notice where the wise men didn’t find Christ: In the business world. Every motel in Bethlehem was sold out with a ‘No vacancy’ sign. Not much has changed, eh? Thirty percent of all retail sales in department stores take place over the Christmas-time holidays. Fifty percent of all parties are held during Christmas and New Year. One out of every ten gallons of alcohol is sold then too. Clearly, Jesus is good for business. The trouble is, we prefer the myth to the Master. We want a Santa but not a Saviour. We want the fairy tale but not the fact. What fact? That Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). The story’s told of a child who was chosen to play the innkeeper in the Christmas nativity, telling Mary and Joseph that there was no room for them at the inn. But on the night of the big event, he stood onstage, looked into the faces of the audience, froze in fear, then smiled and announced, ‘I’m not supposed to do this, but come on in anyway!’ The hymnist wrote, ‘Room for pleasure, room for business, but for Christ the crucified; not a place where He can enter, in the heart for which He died.’ Instead of ending this Christmas exhausted, disappointed, and in debt, invite Jesus into your life. You may be looking back with regret on some bad decisions you’ve made this year, but making Jesus your Lord and Saviour this Christmas is the best decision you’ll ever make.

(http://www.ucb.co.uk/word-for-today.html)

The Pursuit Of Pretty Is An Endless One...

I was having a conversation with a friend today, and at some point as it is synonymous with me, I start talking investments and business. For everyone who knows me, it wont take you a century to realise that I am so business savvy lol! And in the conversation I say, "with the way today's woman pursues beauty and fashion, no amount of recession or even depression can affect that industry".

Its mind blowing how much we spend, each day/week/month and even year on the items we feel will make us more acceptable with the norm. And the designer brands are doing a good job of enslaving people into believing that the more of the labels, you have got, the more trendy you are/more fulfilled we will be. I am also a victim here. Theres always a paticular watch we want, particular brands of handbags added to our collection,shoes and dont mention the fake extensions that are now the order of the day. Sorry! Did I say fake?? Its called 100% human hair hahaha.

Dont get me wrong, I strongly believe in looking good but we should know where to draw the line and not cater for only the physical and not our inner self that we become so shallow and repulsive to people the people we meet along the way.

However I really love to read, Amy Chans write ups, and I love the way she bares herself. When I read her write ups, I feel like I am reading mine. Enjoy the post below from her. I just had to share it...

 

Thousands spent on makeup, hair products and skin treatments later, and I still don’t feel pretty enough. The standard of physical perfection seems to continue getting higher and more unobtainable, meanwhile, in reality, we are faced with never being skinny enough, tanned enough or symmetrical enough. And after my latest look in the mirror criticizing my hair and skin, I realized, this desire to continue improving my physical appearance is an addiction.

The pursuit of pretty is an endless one.

I’m a woman who enjoys fashion, getting dolled up and looking presentable. But the line between the desire to looking put-together and the desire to looking photoshopped is a blurry one. As I’m getting older (and hopefully a little wiser), I’m realising more and more that your looks will fade. And, if you base so much of your worth on your outer appearance, then when gravity eventually has its way with you, you won’t be feeling very good about yourself. Instead of embracing getting older, we fear it and try to hide it based on our current North American perception of beauty.  I’ve realised that instead of obsessing over another superficial way to increase my attactiveness, perhaps its a better investment to think about how I can become more beautiful on the inside – which is 10 times more attractive than the effect that any facial or eyeliner could ever have.

You can fake pretty. But you cannot fake beautiful.

True beauty radiates from within. The glow, the energy that you exude when you’re beautiful on the inside comes from feeling comfortable with yourself, embodying confidence and embracing your self-worth. This beauty only gets better with age. Being pretty, on the other hand, doesn’t last and can be faked easily. Through proper grooming, make-up techniques and Instagram filters, anyone can appear pretty. But that pretty package only depreciates over time –  and it’s not sustainable.

To the women reading this piece, the next time your inner self-critic takes over when you’re looking in the mirror, I challenge you to stop the negative dialogue about your looks. Instead of obsessing over how to become prettier, I encourage you to ask yourself how you can feed your inner beauty. Because when you nourish your soul, educate yourself, live in your essence… you radiate a type of beauty that no model or vixen can compete with. You are beautiful. Remember that.

(http://justmytype.ca/the-pursuit-of-pretty-is-an-endless-one)

Remember This?

Mandelas death, has made headlines and the truth is that there will always be two kinds of people; The ones that die and the ones that live on. For the most of today however this song kept reverberating in my head and I decided to share. If you remember, you give me a clue of the era you were born lol! Watching the video, I cant help but notice the beautiful fashion combined with distinct talent which is quite different compared to what is obtainable in this age. Enjoy!!

His Life! His Cause! His Impact!

Yesterday, Nelson Mandela(Madiba) passed on, and as I watched the news and listened to Jacob Zuma announce his demise, I couldnt help but reminisce on all he stood for and what he suffered for his passion which finally birthed his dreams.

From his life and the lives of all who have had impacts on their generation,  I have come to the conclusion, that life does not consist in the length of our days, but in the impact we have on others, the values we build, the causes we stand for, the courage to be different from the unacceptable norm, the genuity of our passions and the final result of our actions. Steve Jobs rightly put it this way "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition".

Mandela, Martin Luther, Steve Jobs, Mother Theresa, Steve Biko, Albert Einstein and a whole lot of others who have impacted their generation are dead, but you still live and you have still got the power to impact this generation. And it starts with you, it starts with the impact you have on the immediate before it spirals to the external. Dont just EXIST! LIVE and LIVE  WELL!!!!!!!

Todays Tots...

DO GOOD!

‘…As we have opportunity, let us do good to all…’

 Galatians 6:10

Your Bible says, ‘Do not forget to do good and to share…’ (Hebrews 13:16 NKJV). ‘To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin’ (James 4:17 NKJV). ‘…Those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable to men’ (Titus 3:8 NKJV). Addressing the graduation class at Villanova University, journalist Anna Quindlen said: ‘Don’t confuse your life with your work. What you are will always be more important than what you do. There will be many others with your same degree, doing what you want to do, maybe doing it better. But you have sole custody not only of your life, but of your mind and of your heart. It’s easier to write a CV than craft a spirit or build a character. And a CV is cold comfort when you’re sad, broke, or lonely, or when you’ve got back the test results and they’re not so good. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I make my marriage vows mean something. I pray. I’m good to my friends, because without them I’d be a cardboard cutout. Get a life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion or bigger pay-cheque or larger house. Do you really think you’d care about these things if you had an aneurysm or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you are generous. All of you want to do well, but if you don’t do good, doing well will never be enough-UCB



http://www.ucb.co.uk/word-for-today-22920.html( United Christian Broadcasters (UCB) is an organisation that has been a blessing to me and lots of people around the globe. Spreading the love of God through the power of Gods word, reaching out to the unreached in several ways. Looking to support them in any way? please do visit their website, through the link)

A heart of thanksgiving.....

As I woke up this morning, and lay on my bed, realising today was the last day in the month of November, I couldnt help but recall all that had happened from the first day of the year. The challenges, the joys, the tears, the fears, the hopes, the highs and lows. Times when I felt I was living my dreams, and at other times I felt it was just a mirage and the thoughts kept coming and amidst the thoughts I kept wondering what God had kept me from, and in the midst of it all, in the quietness of my soul, my spirit keeps saying 'THANK YOU LORD', it could have been worse, but still I stand. Yes I stand! I did not drown! And if you are reading this, I declare that you too. I was at a conference a couple days ago and one of the Professors said, I quote "It is in the climbing process that we see the vista, not at the top"..... and I agree with this in toto. This has been a really difficult year, the media has not made light of this either. With the tales of woe, natural disasters, wars, mass killings, child abuse and you name it. But the encouragement we have is that the name of the Lord is a strong tower, and we are safe in Him. On Christ the solid rock we stand indeed. As we gear towards the epilogue, we go in the strength that it will end in praise and we are going into 2014, reinforced by the assurance of His WORD and the power of His LOVE... Shalom...

Word Of The Day...

"If Success is not on your own terms, if it looks  good to the world,
 But does not feel good in your soul, it is not    success at all"

Touching Lives; In The wake of Hurricane Haiyan

We have a lot to moan and complain about. But in the wake of hurricane haiyan, we realise that when the chips are down, what really matters is the basics of life which most of us have. Most times however, what keeps us up and restless are the non essentials, 'WANTS' some call them and not necessarily our 'NEEDS'. But if there is a roof up above you, sandals on your feet, food on the table and a fine family and your still waiting for more to make you grateful, you need a rethink. Some just need a change of their wet clothes and just a glass of portable water.Will you put a smile on someones face by donating to the victims of hurricane haiyan today?

Word Of The Day

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, & NO ONE 
    IS BEYOND REDEMPTION....
       SO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.

The Beauty Of Being A Woman; Abigail & Esther

This morning as I spent time in Gods presence, I studied/meditated the whole chapter of 1Kings 17 and as I see the widow of Zarephaths response to Elijah, I am awed by her level of faith as well also as the level of faith of Elijah. I say its amazing where we get help from most times. Not in our trusted allies nor even from family/associates but God just sends help from nowhere that leaves you thinking how did this happen? And then I realise that regardless of the situations we find ourselves in, God wont let us drown in them and He is always working things out for our good.

As I opened my email, I saw this beautiful note and just had to share. Hope it blesses the women out there, and the men who love them too....

Abigail could easily have been the first successful female Public Relation Officer (PRO) in the Bible.

She would step on the thorns of her husband’s character flaws to win the heart of God’s anointed.

Nabal her husband was brash.  He was also foolish.

He turned down a crucial request from the LORD’s anointed-what a foolish and dangerous thing to do?

Abigail was a discerning woman, full of courage and spiritual insight.

She would quieten the fury of the King with a hurried meal and thus saved her home from the flaming swords of war-battered men-1sam 25:2-41.

 

Women are God’s treasure trove of wisdom and virtues. Abigail could without weapons of war, bring a troupe of rampaging soldiers to resting calm.

Women travel far, not for prowess, just for the gift of wisdom. Abigail would later become the king’s wife.

Wisdom changed her status-from the empty wilderness to the palace.

Again, there must have been something God put in Esther beyond the credentials of being a beauty pageant-How a nation, would be saved from the deathly plan of Haman by the wise conduct of a graced woman? Esther 8.

Some say “it’s a man’s world”- how unlikely!

The beautiful thing about women is the fact that God hid in them an ocean of power, invisible to the eyes.  They could rock the foundations of empires, and rule the whims of great men, by the mere charm of their gracious tenderness.

Men are like rough cut-diamonds-spiky and shapeless. Brilliant though, hardly glistening or attractive just yet!

Men are like the stretch of the wilderness- lonely, less traveled, often empty and without beauty.

Men are impulsive and reckless.  Men could be imposing-but not necessarily as powerful as they seem. Men could be bold and audacious-but may not have the silent, steady virtue of a calm spirit.

Men often have visions and callings-but not have the patience and sense of order to execute them.

But a woman steps in-from the wealth of her pleasant gifts reinvents the man. Little by little that simple, ignored man climbs into prominence.

Like an expert care-giver, she manicures the man into a showpiece of dignity and honour. She quietly, behind the scene-gives the man a head start with her unfailing reassurances. She becomes his most loyal cheerleader-shaping his dreams in prayers, until-the man’s empire begins to flourish. Women give hope to men whose dreams have died. They are the man’s abiding confidante.

Women are Gods’ nurturing hands. God brought women men’s way just to beautify their lives.

Women change the world.

Abigail and Esther live on.

     By Steve Orji

Quote Of The Day!

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in       seeking new landscapes but in 
 having new eyes." 

-Marcel Proust 

BE THANKFUL

As I sat at my desk, a colleague comes and sits down on the sit opposite me. Droopy shoulders and a long face, and I knew something was wrong. I lock up my work station and direct my attention to her and was really concerned at this point. And there she goes.... "O Elly, nothing seems to be working for me....." And it goes on. I listen intently without interrupting, and when shes done, I ask "Is that all? and she gives me the look that says, O Elly... I need sympathy. But if you know me well, I have learnt a long time ago, not to throw pity parties or even be in attendance at any. I respond by telling her, "You think your situation is bad? some people are going through worse. As I was yet to end my talk with her, her phone rings and she is told, her 21 year old cousin has been diagnosed with cancer which wasnt caught early, and to that I respond, "You see girl, be thankful for where you are cos it could be worse.







 As I went on my knees and said my prayers, I reminisced on all He has done and is still doing, and my prayer was Lord teach me to recall, teach me to remember, teach me to really and truly BE THANKFUL. And that is my advise to you, Learn to be thankful. Enter His courts with praise, and you will definitely not leave the same.

The 11 Differences Between Dating A Boy Vs A Man

Yes a forth night ago, I brought to you a post by Amy Chan on the 11 differences between dating a girl and woman, if you missed it go HERE however today, the tables are turning and its the exact opposite. That is what is should be though, cos at the end of the day, it takes two to tango, it takes two to make or break a relationship. And for people with my view point it takes a triangle to have that lasting, fulfilling, peace-filled, purpose driven relationship,Yes! The LADY, The MAN, and GOD. Case closed for me lol! Happy to hear what your thoughts are though... so let the comments roll and do have a fabulous weekend. Life Is Indeed For The Living.

When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.

“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.”  - 

So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.

But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.

I learned to love myself.  I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.

A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. 

If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life).  A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.

*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.


Read more from Amy Chan http://justmytype.ca/

Prayer For Today....

Lord may I not go where your grace will not lead me, may I be in your plans for my life and not walk in paths unknown that lead to destruction. May my heart be daily renewed to receive instruction and guidance to deal with each day as it comes. May my life radiate the love of Christ and leave an imprint on all I come across. May I be the listening ear for the weary, a shoulder for the heavy laden and an arm for the down trodden. May I find peace in every storm of life and regardless of the outcome of events let me always come to the realisation that "Your plans for me are not for evil but for good, to give me a future and a hope". AMEN!

Joke Of The Day.... Man Sues Wife Over Having Ugly Babies.

Today was quite a funny one at the office, it was like my colleagues all took turns to crack me up. At the end of the day, I was so exhausted from all the laughter. I wish one of the jokes cracked was really a joke though but unfortunately its reality. With all the artificial hair, nails, teeth, lashes, cosmetic surgery, we do a good job of making people believe the perfect us, unfortunately its not skin deep, and our DNA still replicates the Real Us!

 Remember the saying “a face only a mother can love.” Well in China that saying has taken on an entirely new meaning.

 Jian Feng a Chinese man sued his wife over what he called “an extremely ugly  baby girl,” the newspaper Irish Times reported.

Though Feng insisted that his wife had to have an affair because there is no way he could have fathered such an ugly child, DNA tests proved that the girl and all of his kids were in fact his.

Here’s where it gets good.  Feng sued his ex-wife on the grounds of false pretenses, she had undergone over $100,000 in plastic surgery while in South Korea before they met and never told Feng about the procedures “duping him into thinking she was beautiful.”

Sit down for this part, he won! A judge agreed with Feng’s argument and ordered his ex-wife to pay Feng $120,000!  “I married my wife out of love, but as soon as we had our first daughter, we began having marital issues,” Feng told the Irish Times. “Our daughter was incredibly ugly, to the point where it horrified me.”

I have enough of a hard time getting beaten up by angry mommies.  From here, DAD will let you comment on Feng, the lawsuit and his ugly babies and what work has to be done to spend $100,000?

 

  This is what $100,000 of plastic surgery looks like, before and after.

http://www.chicagonow.com/dad-all-day/2013/11/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-kids-and-wins/

A PURPOSE-DRIVEN MARRIAGE

 When purpose is not known they say, abuse is inevitable. This is one saying I strongly believe in. It is so funny the way relationships are approached in this day and age. It really beats my imagination. When we are employed in our jobs, we are given a contract, which includes our job description,  company policy and procedures, our pay package and most times we are even told the determinants for progression within our roles. We take all this in, and put in our best to succeed and for some workaholics like myself, we even go above and beyond and we succeed. But when it comes to our relationships, we are not willing to do even a quarter of it, and little wonder why relationships fail.

For sometime, I had a very rough time with my manager and during all those times, it unconsciously pushed me to be the best and avoid all the confrontations. And my regular line at the time was " I wont give anyone ammunition to fight me" and I tried everything within me to do every thing right. And when my performance was viewed against the Key Performance Indicators, I was top of the league. Its not rocket science, if we try hard at it, success is guaranteed and relationships are no exemption to this.

I also strongly believe in definition. A lady was in a relationship with a man and after a while she asks the man, could you define this relationship and tell me where we are headed? A question some guys shy away from. But if we do not know where we are going how can we know when we get there or what we need to get there? We do not enter our cars and just start driving. The navigator usually wants us to put a location and when we arrive at our destination, we are informed. I would advise every person in a relationship/marriage to have a clear definition of where it is headed and for individuals with children to inculcate it in their children to always have a clear purpose/definition of what they do especially relationships, it saves a lot of pain and time.

I was stunned however when I accidentally bumped into this article in my mailbox, and the reality of these words really got me thinking of how much we could achieve if we just had a clear defined frame work and did this right rather than rely on emotions that are not reliable. If we go into relationships with our head, we end up coming out confused, but when we go into it with Gods leading, we build on a firm foundation that cannot be shaken! Enjoy the read and share your thoughts....

  "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else" -  Yogi Berra.

  Do you have a "purpose-driven marriage?" Read on for some interesting thoughts on the subject, written by Dr Fred Lowery, from his book,
  "Covenant Marriage":

  "Here's an important principle every married person and every person thinking about marriage--should know: A good marriage doesn't happen by accident. In fact, to survive amidst all the pressures, pains and pitfalls of life in the twenty-first century, a marriage today must be more
  proactive and more intentional than ever before. It must be PURPOSE DRIVEN.

  "What does it mean to have a purpose-driven marriage? It means that you and your spouse have a basic understanding of the kind of marriage you are trying to build and what it will take to make it happen. It means that you are willing to work together toward that common goal. But most couples I talk to in premarital counseling haven't got a clue what the purpose of their marriage is.

  "When I say to the typical prospective groom, 'What is the purpose and goal of your marriage?' he shifts his feet around and finally says, 'I
  don't know. I just love her' (which is a hormonally driven expression for, 'I want s-x without guilt').

  "When I ask the typical bride-to-be the same question, she rolls her eyes, giggles, and utters a few words in fairy-tale language about finally
  finding her 'Knight in shining armor.' (That's female speak for, 'I'm being rescued from my home by one who will wow me for the rest of my
  life.')

  "In a magazine article titled, 'Marriage: What's the Point?' author Susan Dixon admits that she stood at an altar in a beautiful white gown and
  said, 'I do' without having the slightest idea of what she was getting herself into. 'It took nearly twenty-five years and a divorce before I
  began to understand something I should have known before that ceremony ever took place,' she writes. 'In the quarter century that has passed
  since I naively repeated my wedding vows, I've become more and more aware that relationships die for lack of purpose. If there is no valid, defined, and acknowledged purpose for our relationship, chances are we'll have trouble keeping it alive.'

  "Do you know what is the purpose of marriage? What is the purpose of YOUR marriage? Do you have a well-defined purpose? Do you know where your relationship is headed? Do you know where you want your marriage is headed? Do you know where you want your marriage to be 5, 10, or 30 years from now?

  "Do you have common hopes and dreams for the future? This is an important question because, as Neil Clark Warren writes in "The Triumphant
  Marriage," without a shared dream a marriage relationship 'will eventually die.' According to Warren, dreams inspire hope & thereby 'stimulates the brain and mobilize the action center. Hope stimulates planning. Planning produces behavior designed to move you forward.' The end result is positive progress in a marriage relationship.

  "If you can answer 'yes' to these three essential questions, Warren asserts, you have a healthy dream and will serve your marriage well:

  - "Is a dream equally inclusive of both you and your [future] spouse and your life together?
  - "Is the dream broad enough?
  - "Are both of you strongly committed to the dream you have for your life together?

  WHAT ABOUT YOUR VALUES AND BELIEFS?

  - "Do you and your [future] spouse share the same values?
  - "Do you have similar religious beliefs?
  - "What is really important to each of you?

  "These are critical questions. Even secular counselors acknowledge the importance of shared beliefs & values in building a successful marriage.
  If you're not sure what you value, ask yourself:

  - "What do I really want to be?
  - "What do I really want to do?
  - "What do I really want to have?

  "Get your [future] spouse to answer the same questions, & then discuss your responses together. What values and beliefs do your answers reflect? What are you expecting out of marriage? What are the expectations of your mate? Ecstatic bliss? A romantic paradise? Do you both want children, & if so, how many? Do you expect to make enough money to build a dream house?

  "How realistic are your expectations & what happens when they're not met? What happens when your relationship gets boring? When it gets bumpy or bitter? What price are you willing to pay to have a great marriage that goes the distance? Are you both willing to make the relationship an absolute priority? Are you willing to be there for your spouse even through the bad times?

  "Is your marriage self-centered or God-centered? Is your 1st thought, 'What will make me happy?' Or is it, 'What will make my Lord happy &
  ultimately strengthen my relationship with my spouse? Do you approach your marriage as a contract or a covenant? The Bible clearly reveals that covenant oneness with your mate --oneness that is spiritual, emotional and physical --is God's ultimate goal and purpose for marriage. Two become one. If you approach marriage as a covenant, you already have this built-in purpose. Your relationship with your spouse (next to our relationship with God) is the most important thing in your life.

  "If you approach marriage as a contract, however, you're likely to emphasize rules and regulations over relationship. Many self-help books on
  the market offer practical rules for living with a spouse and promise that if you'll just follow those rules, you'll have a happy marriage. The
  problem is, when you emphasize following rules over building relationship, you only breed resentment and rebellion in your mate. Rules without relationship equal disaster in a marriage."
  ………………………….

  Is your marriage purpose-driven --one that honors God and doesn't pattern itself by the world's standards? As Dr. Lowrey also said: "Clearly we can no longer pattern our marriages after the people around us--if we ever could. Not only does the world not know how to divorce-proof its
  marriages, it is well on the way to making broken relationships the norm!"

  If you consider yourselves "Christians" it's important to study the Scriptures, & live your marriage as God created it to be: A sacred,
  permanent, covenant commitment. Line your marriage up with God's original plan and work His plan. That will involve being willing to die to our own  agendas, putting our marriages and our spouse' interests above our own self-interest. Nothing less will do.

        Cindy and Steve Wright

PRAYER FOR TODAY...

Bless me with a simple life O God, 

for it is often in the simplest of things 

where we can find the greatest joys

If you havent noticed, you can get your daily prayer from the left hand side of the page.

The 11 Differences Between Dating a Girl And A Woman!

Hi guys, its been a  very busy time for me with deadlines et al, so I had to put my passion for writing on hold, however if you have got a passion that consumes you like mine, you can only put it on hold for a while. Thanks to you all that keep mailing me to continue writing and who consistently read my write ups, you really spur me to do more. Wow! cant believe its November already, the year is really winding up and  for some you have unconsciously  put your gears on neutral/parking. I want to encourage you to fight to the end, you never know, it may be that one last try that makes this year a remarkable one for you, that indeed makes this month "A November To Remember". Its not over till you say so. So keep trying, the best is yet to come. Its a Saturday so I am going give you something to chill with. I stumbled across this article on a business site, and the lady Amy Chan, really inspired me, and I had to repost her write up. I am of the opinion though that we should never be described as grown ups, rather we should be growing up daily. There will always be a habit to drop, or cultivate, a different approach to take, a different mindset to adopt. It goes on and on. And when we refuse to improve, we refuse to succeed! Yes!
Enjoy the read and feel free to write your comments on what you think....


 If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls. However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn't let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a woman. And if you can't spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers:

1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn't get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.

2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).

3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.

4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent -- she banks on... herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it's considered a bonus, not the expected life line.

5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there's plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.

6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.

7. "A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one." -anonymous

8. A girl does not respect her body. She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it's important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. 

"A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets." - N. Mah

9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.

"After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life." - N. Mah

10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities above anything else.Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over six feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available...

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature woman, or someone with an immature mindset. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn't.

Amy Chan  http://justmytype.ca/

Carrots; Steamed vs Raw

Sometime ago, I wrote about the health benefit of carrots, if you missed it, click HERE. However for sometime, I had rather steam a mixture of carrots, broccoli and cauliflower and I end up snacking on them most times when I feel a bit peckish. Having conversations with some friends over the weekend, an argument arose over the nutrition content of raw vegetables over heated veggies. I love my veggies but I am no fan of having them raw. I however dont mind having carrots raw in coleslaw and even stand alone but I prefer the succulence of having them steamed. So I decided to do a research on the benefits of having carrots steamed and look what I discovered..

  

Carrots are packed with antioxidants, particularly beta-carotene. The antioxidants in carrots play major roles heart and eye health and may aid in cancer prevention. Steaming is a healthy way to prepare carrots and makes nutrients such as beta-carotene easier for your body to absorb than eating raw carrots.

Cook Whole

This was really an eye opener for me as I am in the habit of dicing them before cooking. However researchers say Cooking carrots whole before chopping them up boosts their anti-cancer properties by 25 per cent.Leaving the vegetable intact prevents valuable nutrients from being easily washed away into the water, claim scientists.

As an added bonus, boiling unchopped carrots also makes them taste better, they said.

They can then be chopped up once cooked without loss of nutrients.

Cancer Prevention

Steamed carrots could aid in preventing cancers of the colon, esophagus and stomach. Beta-carotene and another antioxidant in carrots -- called falcarinol -- may slow or stop the growth of cancer cells. A study published in the "Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry" found that rats that were fed a diet that incorporated carrots were one-third less likely to develop tumors than rats that did not eat carrots.

Vision

Steamed carrots are an excellent source of vitamin A, which is essential for eye health. Vitamin A deficiency is rare in the United States but can result in night blindness, dry eyes and complete blindness. The nutrients in carrots may also reduce the development of glaucoma and cataracts.

Heart Health

Carrots are a heart-healthy food because they contain fiber, antioxidants and other vitamins and minerals. High-fiber diets are helpful in lowering high cholesterol and are associated with lower rates of cardiovascular disease, according to the Mayo Clinic. Steamed carrots are also a good source of potassium, which aids in lowering high blood pressure.

I once visited a friend who had just put to bed and the baby looked so amazing, not the regular new born baby look, but this was actually a beautiful child. And when I kept commenting on the babys look, she goes "elly, its having carrots everyday". Looking for that beautiful skin? Dont forget your carrots everyday.

http://healthyliving.azcentral.com/benefits-steamed-carrots-16715.html

Just a 'little' more time.....

We always come to a point in life, when we feel we badly need 'SOMETHING'. The SOMETHING here might be a promotion, recognition, healing, victory from a battle, a job change, relocation, a relationship, it could even mean more time, or a hurry to meet up wit certain demands, you name it. But the shocking reality of life, is that what we think we need badly like yesterday, might not really be what we need. It may be that we need the opposite, which is more time.

I was speaking with a friend, a few days ago and what I kept saying was 'thank God' I waited.
And even yesterday, as I spoke to some other friend, in our conversations the same issue arose and I said to her again 'thank God' I waited, what if I had made that particular move? I wouldn't have felt as fulfilled as I do now.

I am currently reading the book of 2Samuel in the bible that centres much on David and the battles he had to fight, his travails and horror from the reality of being killed someday by Saul. However in 1Samuel 29, as David is left with no choice but to take refuge in the enemy camp, he felt obliged to join the philistines to war against his own people. And I cant help but imagine if he would still have been made king, if he had gone to battle against his own people and massacred them. However Gods plan is always perfect, and David ended up not joining in that battle.

Sometimes what we think we cant live without, is really what we don't need, and what we think we badly need at a particular time might end up being the genesis of our disaster if it happened at the time we wanted. Everything that happens to us is for a reason, the school of hard knocks they say produces the greatest scholars, and adversity is their teacher.





I recently read in a devotional this; ‘When heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on any man it will place obstacles in the path of his deeds so as to stimulate his mind, harden his nature, and improve wherever he is incompetent.’ And it has stayed with me ever since.

Sometimes we don't know our strengths, until we pass through the crucible. I remember having a chat weeks back with a friend who lost his wife and a week old baby in an inferno 4 years ago and as we spoke about a challenge a different friend of ours was going through, I reminded him of himself. And in my own words I said; "If anyone told you, you would survive the death of your wife and child, would you have believed?" And I continued by saying, we will get through that situation or achieve an incomprehensible dream, if we just give the situation  'a little more time' and choose to 'hold up' rather than 'fold up'.

And today I encourage you to give yourself, someone else, that situation a little more time. It might just be all you need....

Back To Basics

When we are young and of school age, we live our lives based on what we are taught and regardless of how we feel of the regulations of the various schools we attend, we live our lives strictly adhering to the norms of the school because we are quite clear on what the consequences are, if we violate those rules.

However when we grow older and begin working for different organisations, we come to work everyday obeying the set rules/policies/procedures of the corporations we work for  regardless of how amiable or antagonistic  we consider our bosses.

Now when it comes to our own very lives, the scenario is a bit different. We tend to be clueless on what to base our values/passion on. Most of us base our values on what is acceptable, the risk of doing this is that what is acceptable today, may not be acceptable tomorrow. However the pressure to be accepted causes us to keep making this mistake. Also the constant change in times/needs/environment/governments can easily throw us into a confused state of mind on what values we consider core.

 For work and school and other regulated places we might find ourselves, there is normally a set time. For instance, we spend about eight hours at work or sometimes a bit more or less and the same applies to schools. For the period of time we spend in these places, it might not be the best places/ conditions, regardless we try to front a different us "BEST BEHAVIOUR" approach I call it. Thereafter, life goes on and it is at this time that the real us is set free. At this point we become lord over ourselves and think we can do as we please. For every action we take however, there is always a consequence to live with positive or negative.

Today, question anyone on why they act in a certain way/ indulge in a particular habit and they would have a thousand and one answers to buttress their point. Lets take a look at terrorism and the killings, and the terrorists will have more than enough reasons to indulge in the attacks carried out. A murderer will give you so many reasons while he killed his victim. When partners cheat on each other, they have so many reasons why they did that. And the list goes on and on.

We wont always have set rules to live by, at work or schools etc however our performance/achievement in life is solely based on the  good values we personally inculcate in us outside of these environments. And with the changing times/governments/ policies it is difficult to develop our values except these values are based on the very word that has stood the test of time THE BIBLE. In the book of Joshua 1:8 it says the book of the Law, shall not depart from our mouth night or day, and when we are careful to observe what the bible says, our prosperity is guaranteed.

In search of peace, prosperity, direction, wisdom, joy, success? Go back to basics!
"THE  BIBLE".....

Thinking Relocation?

Recently a friend informed me that he was relocating to Australia as a result of work, initially it sounded a bit too much for me as I saw it as such a big leap. However, I just decided to have a look into the city as I surfed through the web, and this is what I came across. Quite Impressive for one country to dominate the rankings with four cities. The government really does deserve a pat on their backs if you ask me!   

Aussie rules: Melbourne named world's best place to live for the third year running as four Australian cities feature in top ten

Melbourne was lauded for its healthcare, education and infrastructure

The city beat Austrian capital Vienna into second place in the rankings

The table was compiled by the Economist intelligence Unit

With its beautiful parks, enviable healthcare and location next to one of the world's best coastal drives, it's little wonder people want to live in Melbourne.

While it may not necessarily have the glamorous appeal of Sydney, Australia's second city has been ranked the world's most liveable city for the third year running.

Home to almost 4.25million people, it beat Austrian capital Vienna into second place, with Vancouver in Canada ranking third.

Top spot: Melbourne was lauded in every category from healthcare to education in the rankings which saw it crowned number one place to live in the world for the third year running

Australia dominates the ranking with four cities - Melbourne, Adelaide, Sydney and Perth - in the top ten, with Canadian cities accounting for three of the others.

Despite its popularity with tourists however, London is nowhere to be seen.

The rankings were compiled by the Economist Intelligence Unit which explains that the destinations that score highest are 'mid-sized cities in wealthier countries with a relatively low population density.'

The ratings take into account: stability, worked out by looking at crime rates and civil unrest; quality of healthcare; culture and environment; education and infrastructure.

1. Melbourne, Australia

Melbourne

Winner: Australia's second city was lauded in all categories, scoring the maximum 100 out of 100 for its healthcare, education and infrastructure and being awarded 95 and 95.1 in the stability and culture and environment categories respectively. The city, home to 4.2million, has topped the rankings for the past three years, scoring 97.5 overall. Melbourne is famed for its vibrant multi-culturalism, burgeoning arts scene, excellent food and wine and is the sporting capital of Australia.

2. Vienna, Austria

Runner up: Vienna was one of only two European cities to make the top ten. Like Melbourne, it scored maximum marks in terms of healthcare, education and infrastructure, and matched the city in terms of stability. But surprisingly, given that the Austrian capital is steeped in history, it fell short in the culture and environment category with a score of 94.4. As well as its history Vienna has a colourful contemporary arts and culture scene, a bustling nightlife, picturesque vineyards on the outskirts and an innovative performing arts scene.

3. Vancouver, Canada

Third place: Vancouver in Canada Scored top marks for health, education, and culture and environment. It gained third spot thanks to its 95 out of 100 ranking in terms of stability and a 92.9 mark for infrastructure. The city is known for its majestic natural beauty located between the Coast Mountains and the Pacific ocean. The city is relatively small compared to some of the other top ten destinations with a little over 600,000 living there.

4. Toronto, Canada

Fourth: Toronto is the provincial capital of Ontario and the most populated city in Canada. It scored top marks in terms of stability, healthcare and education, but fell short of the winners as it scored 97.2 in terms of culture and environment and a relatively low 89.3 in terms of infrastructure. The city's most famous landmark is the CN Tower, which at 1,815 ft tall is one of the world's tallest buildings. The city's surrounds are home to some stunning wineries.

5. Calgary, Canada

Fifth: Calgary is the largest city in Alberta, with a population of almost 1.1million. It scored 100 out of 100 in the stability. healthcare and education categories as well as an impressive 96.4 in terms of infrastructure. But it didn't hit top spot because of its 89.1 rating for culture. It was once ranked the world's cleanest place to live by Forbes magazine. It's a relatively young city but still claims to have a rich history and was the first ever venue for the Winter Olympics.

6. Adelaide, Australia

Sixth: Known as Australia's wine capital, Adelaide scored top marks for healthcare and education. But it could only muster 95 in terms of stability, 94.2 in terms of culture and environment and 96.4 in terms of infrastructure. The city's tourism website describes it as the '20 minute city' with all amenities including the airport and beauty spots such as Adelaide Hills within a short distance of the city centre. Adelaide has a diverse cultural mix.

7. Sydney, Australia

Seventh heaven: Sydney is the third of Australia's four cities in the top ten. It scored top marks for healthcare, education and infrastructure, but 90 for stability and 94.4 for culture. Famed for its outdoor lifestyle, the city's iconic landmarks include the Harbour Bridge, the Opera house and some of the world's most beautiful beaches. Sydney is a great place to live if you like watersports, surfing, seafood and wine.

8. Helsinki, Finland

Eighth: The Finnish capital scored top marks for stability and healthcare and impressive scores of 96.4 for infrastructure, 91.7 for education and 90 for culture and environment. It is the most populous city in Finland and located on a picturesque arm of the Baltic Sea coastline. It is famed for its art nouveau architecture and maintains its small-town feel despite being an international municipality and a hub for Finnish commerce.

9. Perth, Australia

The final Australian entry in the top ten. Perth hit top marks in healthcare, education, and infrastructure and scored 95 in the stability category. But its overall marked was dragged down by an 88.7 score for culture and environment. It is the largest city in Western Australia and home to almost 1.9million people. Australia's 'sunniest capital city', Perth mixes vibrant city culture with stunning nature and is home to some gorgeous beaches.

10. Auckland, New Zealand

 Auckland in New Zealand scored top marks for its education. It scored 95 and above in all other categories bar infrastructure, which saw it score 92.9. Like many others in the top ten, Auckland, known as Tamaki Makaurau to the indigenous Maori people, combines nature and a vibrant city life. The city claims that everyone lives within half hour of a beautiful beach, a hiking trail and 'a dozen enchanted holiday islands'.

 

   (By Steve Nolan; http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2405383/Melbourne-named-worlds-best-place-live-3rd-year-running.html)

Ndidi Emefiele-Inspired By Design

In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by- Lucille Ball




Mother Theresa, once said greatness is achieved not necessarily by doing great things but by doing small things greatly. The things we consider as insignificant and irrelevant, end up leaving lasting remarks. You want to love someone? love without limits, you have got a job? Do it to the best of your ability, You want  to make a difference? Start from where you are, with the people you come across, having genuine interest in others as well as being as transparent as possible, Do you have a Dream? pursue it, till you see it actualized.  Because when we stop dreaming, we stop living.
Also if we only dream without pursuing it, life becomes a mirage, more of an illusion than reality.

Culture shapes the perception, attitudes, skills and has a 360 degree effect in the way people live their lives, what they believe in, what they fear, what they consider acceptable or unacceptable and also their expression of love, beauty, nature, eras, pain etc.

African art, has evolved with time and the value placed on African art, is on a steady increase. The art is not something new but the value of the art, as well as its appreciation has been on a steady increase. The truth is that if you dont know your worth/value, you risk being exploited by others who know your value, but are too selfish to open your eyes to the reality of what you could accomplish for fear of losing out.

The demand and interest in modern art from Africa is on the rise. Works by west African artists have particularly seen an increase in sales.

This year, high profile galleries like London's Tate Modern have featured exhibitions by Nigerian artists. Ndidi Emefieles art is one of those that has achieved high recommendation and is sold for as much as $10,000. In this era where young african artist are gradually on the decline, she has pursued her dreams and I must say I am impressed at how her dream has earned her international recognition.

No dream is too small, no amount of hardwork is too much. Keep dreaming, keep believing, keep working hard, and just one day, it will surely pay off. It must not necessarily be international recognition but the fulfillment of knowing that you gave 'LIFE' nothing short of the very best you could.