MARRIAGE - A Vow of Small Things

If you constantly read this blog, you will realise that severally I have said, its not about doing big things most times, but doing small things differently that leaves lasting impression. A call here, a text there, a card there, little acts of kindness that make a difference in the ones we love and the lives we intentionally and unintentionally affect.

I belong to this group, and someone  posted this beautiful piece, and I just had to share.... There is always room to be a better person....

  "Small but frequent gestures of affection and care may appear to be insignificant, but grouped together over days and years they become the

  undeniable evidence of your highest love and deepest devotion." (Dr. Ronn Elmore)

  If there's something we've (Steve & Cindy) learned, it's that bigger doesn't mean better and small doesn't mean insignificant. God fed the

  multitude of people with a small boy's simple offering. We've found that  some of the most meaningful gifts we've received have been that which didn't cost much.

  A foot rub when your feet are tired and swollen, or a back rub when you're hurting after a long day, a cold glass of ice water given when you're

  outside working in the hot sun are priceless gifts to you when your spouse gives them to you lovingly and without being asked.

  As we're writing this message, I'm looking at a homemade "Certificate of  Achievement" that hangs over our desk that our sons, David and John made for us many years ago when they were young boys. It says, "This is to certify that Steve and Cindy Wright are the best couple in the world."  It's signed by both of them and put into a simple hand-made frame.

  It may not have taken a long time for them to make or cost them much to put together, but to us it's a priceless, treasured item. Small and

  inexpensive can still be priceless when it's motivated by love.

  In the same way, small gifts and features can warm our hearts with love when given to us by our spouse. Sometimes a simple bouquet of handpicked wildflowers or a single rose means more to us than a dozen long-stemmed roses in a sterling silver vase, when we know our spouse took the time out of their busy schedule to think of us at a time when they knew we needed it the most.

  Dr. Ronn Elmore writes more on the importance of these smaller gifts of love in his book, "An Outrageous Commitment…The 48 Vows of an

  Indestructible Marriage," published by Harper Resources. In it he writes:

  "Perhaps more than anyone, marriage partners need to remember the worth and beauty of small things --the tiny, seemingly insignificant gestures that often go unnoticed by long-married spouses. It is through these acts of consistent, tender selflessness that your and your mate's aloneness may eventually be dispelled.

  "Grand gestures say, 'I choose to care about you.' But the tiny acts of generosity, the briefest words of reassurance, the unexpected hug, and

  admiring glance, and the offer of assistance when you didn't ask for it --these tiny offerings say, 'You matter to me.'

  "Grand-scale displays of affection require extraordinary means. Yet small tokens of affection require little more than choosing to say yes to one of countless daily opportunities. Give in to the part of you that would stop to show your tender kindness if you weren't in such a hurry to other

  seemingly significant obligations.

  "The final week before I was due to turn in the completed draft of my last book was extremely stressful. Along with the anxiety deadlines always stir in me are the computer glitches (stubbornly slow printers, disappearing chapters, and the unfamiliar hieroglyphics that show up on the screen right where intelligible words once were).

  "Under this kind of pressure, my wife Aladrian saw me become a preoccupied  presence in our home. I was totally unaware of her and seldom offered any more than an occasional one-word response to her questions as to my progress.

  "Ever generous with her time, Aladrian offered to help. Did I need her to "decode" my scribbling from my yellow legal pads onto the computer? Did I want her to proofread every page and correct the countless typing errors hiding there? Or would I be better served by her canceling all her

  appointments that day so she could stay near me for moral support?

  "Any of these would have been an enormous sacrifices of her time and  demonstrations of her love for me; but at the height of my anxiety and

  fatigue, none of them would have meant as much to me as the one tiny, perfect gesture of her affection that she performed.

  "Aladrian simply knelt down, removed my shoes, and silently, tenderly massaged my feet, then got up and went about her business. It was a small thing, yet I have never felt more loved and less alone than at that unforgettable moment.

  "As you build a life together, over time, it will be your appreciation for the small things that will most likely to be overlooked. You must cling to

  the commitment of continually making small offerings. If not be given, your mate will always hunger for them.

  "Turn and bless each other with your modest favors and marvelous things will happen. The more you give them, the more you'll recognize and

  appreciate them when they are returned. You and your mate will discover the pleasant challenge of finding new ways to give until these tender

  exchanges become a part of you."

  ………………………………...