A heart of thanksgiving.....

As I woke up this morning, and lay on my bed, realising today was the last day in the month of November, I couldnt help but recall all that had happened from the first day of the year. The challenges, the joys, the tears, the fears, the hopes, the highs and lows. Times when I felt I was living my dreams, and at other times I felt it was just a mirage and the thoughts kept coming and amidst the thoughts I kept wondering what God had kept me from, and in the midst of it all, in the quietness of my soul, my spirit keeps saying 'THANK YOU LORD', it could have been worse, but still I stand. Yes I stand! I did not drown! And if you are reading this, I declare that you too. I was at a conference a couple days ago and one of the Professors said, I quote "It is in the climbing process that we see the vista, not at the top"..... and I agree with this in toto. This has been a really difficult year, the media has not made light of this either. With the tales of woe, natural disasters, wars, mass killings, child abuse and you name it. But the encouragement we have is that the name of the Lord is a strong tower, and we are safe in Him. On Christ the solid rock we stand indeed. As we gear towards the epilogue, we go in the strength that it will end in praise and we are going into 2014, reinforced by the assurance of His WORD and the power of His LOVE... Shalom...

Word Of The Day...

"If Success is not on your own terms, if it looks  good to the world,
 But does not feel good in your soul, it is not    success at all"

Touching Lives; In The wake of Hurricane Haiyan

We have a lot to moan and complain about. But in the wake of hurricane haiyan, we realise that when the chips are down, what really matters is the basics of life which most of us have. Most times however, what keeps us up and restless are the non essentials, 'WANTS' some call them and not necessarily our 'NEEDS'. But if there is a roof up above you, sandals on your feet, food on the table and a fine family and your still waiting for more to make you grateful, you need a rethink. Some just need a change of their wet clothes and just a glass of portable water.Will you put a smile on someones face by donating to the victims of hurricane haiyan today?

Word Of The Day

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, & NO ONE 
    IS BEYOND REDEMPTION....
       SO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.

The Beauty Of Being A Woman; Abigail & Esther

This morning as I spent time in Gods presence, I studied/meditated the whole chapter of 1Kings 17 and as I see the widow of Zarephaths response to Elijah, I am awed by her level of faith as well also as the level of faith of Elijah. I say its amazing where we get help from most times. Not in our trusted allies nor even from family/associates but God just sends help from nowhere that leaves you thinking how did this happen? And then I realise that regardless of the situations we find ourselves in, God wont let us drown in them and He is always working things out for our good.

As I opened my email, I saw this beautiful note and just had to share. Hope it blesses the women out there, and the men who love them too....

Abigail could easily have been the first successful female Public Relation Officer (PRO) in the Bible.

She would step on the thorns of her husband’s character flaws to win the heart of God’s anointed.

Nabal her husband was brash.  He was also foolish.

He turned down a crucial request from the LORD’s anointed-what a foolish and dangerous thing to do?

Abigail was a discerning woman, full of courage and spiritual insight.

She would quieten the fury of the King with a hurried meal and thus saved her home from the flaming swords of war-battered men-1sam 25:2-41.

 

Women are God’s treasure trove of wisdom and virtues. Abigail could without weapons of war, bring a troupe of rampaging soldiers to resting calm.

Women travel far, not for prowess, just for the gift of wisdom. Abigail would later become the king’s wife.

Wisdom changed her status-from the empty wilderness to the palace.

Again, there must have been something God put in Esther beyond the credentials of being a beauty pageant-How a nation, would be saved from the deathly plan of Haman by the wise conduct of a graced woman? Esther 8.

Some say “it’s a man’s world”- how unlikely!

The beautiful thing about women is the fact that God hid in them an ocean of power, invisible to the eyes.  They could rock the foundations of empires, and rule the whims of great men, by the mere charm of their gracious tenderness.

Men are like rough cut-diamonds-spiky and shapeless. Brilliant though, hardly glistening or attractive just yet!

Men are like the stretch of the wilderness- lonely, less traveled, often empty and without beauty.

Men are impulsive and reckless.  Men could be imposing-but not necessarily as powerful as they seem. Men could be bold and audacious-but may not have the silent, steady virtue of a calm spirit.

Men often have visions and callings-but not have the patience and sense of order to execute them.

But a woman steps in-from the wealth of her pleasant gifts reinvents the man. Little by little that simple, ignored man climbs into prominence.

Like an expert care-giver, she manicures the man into a showpiece of dignity and honour. She quietly, behind the scene-gives the man a head start with her unfailing reassurances. She becomes his most loyal cheerleader-shaping his dreams in prayers, until-the man’s empire begins to flourish. Women give hope to men whose dreams have died. They are the man’s abiding confidante.

Women are Gods’ nurturing hands. God brought women men’s way just to beautify their lives.

Women change the world.

Abigail and Esther live on.

     By Steve Orji

Quote Of The Day!

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in       seeking new landscapes but in 
 having new eyes." 

-Marcel Proust 

BE THANKFUL

As I sat at my desk, a colleague comes and sits down on the sit opposite me. Droopy shoulders and a long face, and I knew something was wrong. I lock up my work station and direct my attention to her and was really concerned at this point. And there she goes.... "O Elly, nothing seems to be working for me....." And it goes on. I listen intently without interrupting, and when shes done, I ask "Is that all? and she gives me the look that says, O Elly... I need sympathy. But if you know me well, I have learnt a long time ago, not to throw pity parties or even be in attendance at any. I respond by telling her, "You think your situation is bad? some people are going through worse. As I was yet to end my talk with her, her phone rings and she is told, her 21 year old cousin has been diagnosed with cancer which wasnt caught early, and to that I respond, "You see girl, be thankful for where you are cos it could be worse.







 As I went on my knees and said my prayers, I reminisced on all He has done and is still doing, and my prayer was Lord teach me to recall, teach me to remember, teach me to really and truly BE THANKFUL. And that is my advise to you, Learn to be thankful. Enter His courts with praise, and you will definitely not leave the same.

The 11 Differences Between Dating A Boy Vs A Man

Yes a forth night ago, I brought to you a post by Amy Chan on the 11 differences between dating a girl and woman, if you missed it go HERE however today, the tables are turning and its the exact opposite. That is what is should be though, cos at the end of the day, it takes two to tango, it takes two to make or break a relationship. And for people with my view point it takes a triangle to have that lasting, fulfilling, peace-filled, purpose driven relationship,Yes! The LADY, The MAN, and GOD. Case closed for me lol! Happy to hear what your thoughts are though... so let the comments roll and do have a fabulous weekend. Life Is Indeed For The Living.

When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.

“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.”  - 

So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.

But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.

I learned to love myself.  I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.

A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. 

If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life).  A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.

*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.


Read more from Amy Chan http://justmytype.ca/

Prayer For Today....

Lord may I not go where your grace will not lead me, may I be in your plans for my life and not walk in paths unknown that lead to destruction. May my heart be daily renewed to receive instruction and guidance to deal with each day as it comes. May my life radiate the love of Christ and leave an imprint on all I come across. May I be the listening ear for the weary, a shoulder for the heavy laden and an arm for the down trodden. May I find peace in every storm of life and regardless of the outcome of events let me always come to the realisation that "Your plans for me are not for evil but for good, to give me a future and a hope". AMEN!

Joke Of The Day.... Man Sues Wife Over Having Ugly Babies.

Today was quite a funny one at the office, it was like my colleagues all took turns to crack me up. At the end of the day, I was so exhausted from all the laughter. I wish one of the jokes cracked was really a joke though but unfortunately its reality. With all the artificial hair, nails, teeth, lashes, cosmetic surgery, we do a good job of making people believe the perfect us, unfortunately its not skin deep, and our DNA still replicates the Real Us!

 Remember the saying “a face only a mother can love.” Well in China that saying has taken on an entirely new meaning.

 Jian Feng a Chinese man sued his wife over what he called “an extremely ugly  baby girl,” the newspaper Irish Times reported.

Though Feng insisted that his wife had to have an affair because there is no way he could have fathered such an ugly child, DNA tests proved that the girl and all of his kids were in fact his.

Here’s where it gets good.  Feng sued his ex-wife on the grounds of false pretenses, she had undergone over $100,000 in plastic surgery while in South Korea before they met and never told Feng about the procedures “duping him into thinking she was beautiful.”

Sit down for this part, he won! A judge agreed with Feng’s argument and ordered his ex-wife to pay Feng $120,000!  “I married my wife out of love, but as soon as we had our first daughter, we began having marital issues,” Feng told the Irish Times. “Our daughter was incredibly ugly, to the point where it horrified me.”

I have enough of a hard time getting beaten up by angry mommies.  From here, DAD will let you comment on Feng, the lawsuit and his ugly babies and what work has to be done to spend $100,000?

 

  This is what $100,000 of plastic surgery looks like, before and after.

http://www.chicagonow.com/dad-all-day/2013/11/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-kids-and-wins/

A PURPOSE-DRIVEN MARRIAGE

 When purpose is not known they say, abuse is inevitable. This is one saying I strongly believe in. It is so funny the way relationships are approached in this day and age. It really beats my imagination. When we are employed in our jobs, we are given a contract, which includes our job description,  company policy and procedures, our pay package and most times we are even told the determinants for progression within our roles. We take all this in, and put in our best to succeed and for some workaholics like myself, we even go above and beyond and we succeed. But when it comes to our relationships, we are not willing to do even a quarter of it, and little wonder why relationships fail.

For sometime, I had a very rough time with my manager and during all those times, it unconsciously pushed me to be the best and avoid all the confrontations. And my regular line at the time was " I wont give anyone ammunition to fight me" and I tried everything within me to do every thing right. And when my performance was viewed against the Key Performance Indicators, I was top of the league. Its not rocket science, if we try hard at it, success is guaranteed and relationships are no exemption to this.

I also strongly believe in definition. A lady was in a relationship with a man and after a while she asks the man, could you define this relationship and tell me where we are headed? A question some guys shy away from. But if we do not know where we are going how can we know when we get there or what we need to get there? We do not enter our cars and just start driving. The navigator usually wants us to put a location and when we arrive at our destination, we are informed. I would advise every person in a relationship/marriage to have a clear definition of where it is headed and for individuals with children to inculcate it in their children to always have a clear purpose/definition of what they do especially relationships, it saves a lot of pain and time.

I was stunned however when I accidentally bumped into this article in my mailbox, and the reality of these words really got me thinking of how much we could achieve if we just had a clear defined frame work and did this right rather than rely on emotions that are not reliable. If we go into relationships with our head, we end up coming out confused, but when we go into it with Gods leading, we build on a firm foundation that cannot be shaken! Enjoy the read and share your thoughts....

  "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else" -  Yogi Berra.

  Do you have a "purpose-driven marriage?" Read on for some interesting thoughts on the subject, written by Dr Fred Lowery, from his book,
  "Covenant Marriage":

  "Here's an important principle every married person and every person thinking about marriage--should know: A good marriage doesn't happen by accident. In fact, to survive amidst all the pressures, pains and pitfalls of life in the twenty-first century, a marriage today must be more
  proactive and more intentional than ever before. It must be PURPOSE DRIVEN.

  "What does it mean to have a purpose-driven marriage? It means that you and your spouse have a basic understanding of the kind of marriage you are trying to build and what it will take to make it happen. It means that you are willing to work together toward that common goal. But most couples I talk to in premarital counseling haven't got a clue what the purpose of their marriage is.

  "When I say to the typical prospective groom, 'What is the purpose and goal of your marriage?' he shifts his feet around and finally says, 'I
  don't know. I just love her' (which is a hormonally driven expression for, 'I want s-x without guilt').

  "When I ask the typical bride-to-be the same question, she rolls her eyes, giggles, and utters a few words in fairy-tale language about finally
  finding her 'Knight in shining armor.' (That's female speak for, 'I'm being rescued from my home by one who will wow me for the rest of my
  life.')

  "In a magazine article titled, 'Marriage: What's the Point?' author Susan Dixon admits that she stood at an altar in a beautiful white gown and
  said, 'I do' without having the slightest idea of what she was getting herself into. 'It took nearly twenty-five years and a divorce before I
  began to understand something I should have known before that ceremony ever took place,' she writes. 'In the quarter century that has passed
  since I naively repeated my wedding vows, I've become more and more aware that relationships die for lack of purpose. If there is no valid, defined, and acknowledged purpose for our relationship, chances are we'll have trouble keeping it alive.'

  "Do you know what is the purpose of marriage? What is the purpose of YOUR marriage? Do you have a well-defined purpose? Do you know where your relationship is headed? Do you know where you want your marriage is headed? Do you know where you want your marriage to be 5, 10, or 30 years from now?

  "Do you have common hopes and dreams for the future? This is an important question because, as Neil Clark Warren writes in "The Triumphant
  Marriage," without a shared dream a marriage relationship 'will eventually die.' According to Warren, dreams inspire hope & thereby 'stimulates the brain and mobilize the action center. Hope stimulates planning. Planning produces behavior designed to move you forward.' The end result is positive progress in a marriage relationship.

  "If you can answer 'yes' to these three essential questions, Warren asserts, you have a healthy dream and will serve your marriage well:

  - "Is a dream equally inclusive of both you and your [future] spouse and your life together?
  - "Is the dream broad enough?
  - "Are both of you strongly committed to the dream you have for your life together?

  WHAT ABOUT YOUR VALUES AND BELIEFS?

  - "Do you and your [future] spouse share the same values?
  - "Do you have similar religious beliefs?
  - "What is really important to each of you?

  "These are critical questions. Even secular counselors acknowledge the importance of shared beliefs & values in building a successful marriage.
  If you're not sure what you value, ask yourself:

  - "What do I really want to be?
  - "What do I really want to do?
  - "What do I really want to have?

  "Get your [future] spouse to answer the same questions, & then discuss your responses together. What values and beliefs do your answers reflect? What are you expecting out of marriage? What are the expectations of your mate? Ecstatic bliss? A romantic paradise? Do you both want children, & if so, how many? Do you expect to make enough money to build a dream house?

  "How realistic are your expectations & what happens when they're not met? What happens when your relationship gets boring? When it gets bumpy or bitter? What price are you willing to pay to have a great marriage that goes the distance? Are you both willing to make the relationship an absolute priority? Are you willing to be there for your spouse even through the bad times?

  "Is your marriage self-centered or God-centered? Is your 1st thought, 'What will make me happy?' Or is it, 'What will make my Lord happy &
  ultimately strengthen my relationship with my spouse? Do you approach your marriage as a contract or a covenant? The Bible clearly reveals that covenant oneness with your mate --oneness that is spiritual, emotional and physical --is God's ultimate goal and purpose for marriage. Two become one. If you approach marriage as a covenant, you already have this built-in purpose. Your relationship with your spouse (next to our relationship with God) is the most important thing in your life.

  "If you approach marriage as a contract, however, you're likely to emphasize rules and regulations over relationship. Many self-help books on
  the market offer practical rules for living with a spouse and promise that if you'll just follow those rules, you'll have a happy marriage. The
  problem is, when you emphasize following rules over building relationship, you only breed resentment and rebellion in your mate. Rules without relationship equal disaster in a marriage."
  ………………………….

  Is your marriage purpose-driven --one that honors God and doesn't pattern itself by the world's standards? As Dr. Lowrey also said: "Clearly we can no longer pattern our marriages after the people around us--if we ever could. Not only does the world not know how to divorce-proof its
  marriages, it is well on the way to making broken relationships the norm!"

  If you consider yourselves "Christians" it's important to study the Scriptures, & live your marriage as God created it to be: A sacred,
  permanent, covenant commitment. Line your marriage up with God's original plan and work His plan. That will involve being willing to die to our own  agendas, putting our marriages and our spouse' interests above our own self-interest. Nothing less will do.

        Cindy and Steve Wright

PRAYER FOR TODAY...

Bless me with a simple life O God, 

for it is often in the simplest of things 

where we can find the greatest joys

If you havent noticed, you can get your daily prayer from the left hand side of the page.

The 11 Differences Between Dating a Girl And A Woman!

Hi guys, its been a  very busy time for me with deadlines et al, so I had to put my passion for writing on hold, however if you have got a passion that consumes you like mine, you can only put it on hold for a while. Thanks to you all that keep mailing me to continue writing and who consistently read my write ups, you really spur me to do more. Wow! cant believe its November already, the year is really winding up and  for some you have unconsciously  put your gears on neutral/parking. I want to encourage you to fight to the end, you never know, it may be that one last try that makes this year a remarkable one for you, that indeed makes this month "A November To Remember". Its not over till you say so. So keep trying, the best is yet to come. Its a Saturday so I am going give you something to chill with. I stumbled across this article on a business site, and the lady Amy Chan, really inspired me, and I had to repost her write up. I am of the opinion though that we should never be described as grown ups, rather we should be growing up daily. There will always be a habit to drop, or cultivate, a different approach to take, a different mindset to adopt. It goes on and on. And when we refuse to improve, we refuse to succeed! Yes!
Enjoy the read and feel free to write your comments on what you think....


 If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls. However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn't let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a woman. And if you can't spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers:

1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn't get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.

2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).

3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.

4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent -- she banks on... herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it's considered a bonus, not the expected life line.

5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there's plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.

6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.

7. "A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one." -anonymous

8. A girl does not respect her body. She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it's important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. 

"A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets." - N. Mah

9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.

"After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life." - N. Mah

10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities above anything else.Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over six feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available...

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature woman, or someone with an immature mindset. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn't.

Amy Chan  http://justmytype.ca/