Saturday, 2 June 2018

The grief path: Uncensored Speech

Because the grief path is my personal experience, I will be as personal as I can be. If you are new to the blog, grief path is a new series documenting how I am dealing with the loss of my loving dad who went to be with the Lord (7 weeks ago tomorrow). It feels like yesterday.... dad....always & forever

When friends and family hear of the loss of a loved one, some know the right words of consolation, some don't which is understandable because death is a difficult subject to address and some are just plain stupid, it shakes you up from your grieving process back into reality.....

Now the issue is not the stupid people because stupidity will never be gotten rid of but your approach to their level of stupidity is important for your sanity...

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The above conversation took place 2 days ago between a lady and I..

Phone rings:

Lady: Hi Elly, I just got to know of your dad's passing yesterday and I just called to say I am so sorry. Take heart, it is really painful but that is life.

Me: Thank you so much for your call, I appreciate. I hope you and yours are good?

Lady: Yes we are fine. How are you doing? Do you work?

Me: Yes ( There was no need to give a longer response because I didn't consider that question relevant)

Lady: Are you married?

Me: Not yet

Lady: Shocked voice! Why are you not married? Or do you want to become a baby mama?

Me: At this point I was laughing really hard, it was really unbelievable that she could utter such words. I would never imagine that such a grown woman could display such a high level of stupidity at such a time and I felt genuinely sorry for the children she was raising because really she can't give what she has not got. This is someone I have not seen or spoken to in over 10 years, the truth is that she got my number from her brother and I don't even have hers. Summary is that we are not friends and it's not her place to ask me such intrusive questions but hey this is life and stupidity can't be eradicated.( I can't give you the details of the rest of our conversation but the truth is that she didn't ruin my day. She is just a highly ignorant woman and I am genuinely sorry for her)

My advice to you: If you are in a difficult situation like going through grief, it does not mean people will always be sensitive to your plight but remember you are responsible for your sanity, your happiness and your peace of mind. Stupid people should not determine your mood. Take charge!

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