We have the option of choosing friends but definitely not our families, so if you have a problem with yours, if you feel its dysfunctional like someone recently told me about theirs, or if you feel you dont belong there, its a shame hun, DEAL WITH IT and start bringing about change because you definitely didnt have a say in the choice of your family, so start WORKING on it and start LOVING it! Lesson 1
With friends however, we feel very much in control and we call the shots whenever. We decide to keep some, drop some, love some, or hate some. I was having a little chat with a friend who just told the man in her life off, and listening to the conversation, she also showed me an email she sent him, and I read it standing but when I delved deeper into it, I had to sit down, because the contents where quite carcinogenic! I always say DONT BURN BRIDGES! In the real world, however sometimes all we want to do is burn the bridge to rubbles and never remember that a bridge once existed, but that should not be the case. I went ahead to explain, that the emails we send, the text messages, the chats, pings etc most times leave lasting impressions in peoples lives, than we intend them too. Lesson 2; Think before you write!
Abraham started his journey with Lot, but didnt end the journey with him!
Lesson 3; Not everyone who starts the journey with you, should end the journey with you. Goodbyes are hard, but learn to say them when the time calls for it!
I have got this friend, I have known for a while, who is about seven years older in age. At some point, I got so upset with him and he is the last person to get into an argument with anyone, he will say what he has to say in his usual calm self, but on this day, trust a girl to raise up her voice, and I actually said " Shut up and Get Out!" Ouch! that was like two years ago though lol! Yea some times we think we have worked on our characters, but its a continuous process, learning never ends!
Lesson 3b; Keep working on you!
However even though I told this young man off and felt right in every way, and trust me I was right or so I think lol!, few days after, he calls me and he says "Elly I cant believe all you said" It was not necessary but I believe you were worked up and now that you are calm, I believe we can talk. And till date, we have an amazing friendship, he goes to the extent of seeking my opinion of the women he dates. Life is really simpler than we make it to be! I have always believed women are very patient people, but I have met some very patient men in my life, that have made me have a rethink. Just yesterday, I was speaking with an amazing young man, who I felt was being taking advantage of and I was already getting so furious, and he goes, "its only money Elly, and I have it enough to know that money, is not the source of happiness but for them, they will have to learn that with time!"
Lesson 4; Most times,Its not about being right or wrong, but about sacrificing our EGO on the altar of PEACE.
Saul hated David and did all he could to eliminate him. David on the other hand, had an amazing relationship with Sauls son Jonathan. Hmmm sometimes we find love/friendship in awkward places. Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, but at reunion he told them, you intended evil but God planned good. When we get some phone calls, unconsciously we ask ourselves what do they want? hahaha cos some will only call when they need our help. Likewise we only make some calls when we need peoples help, yea lets swallow the bitter pill! Regardless of how good we think we are, some will hate us, some will despise us, some will use us, some see us as a threat, some as competition, some really love us, some are always there for us and it goes on and on. But in all of these, we are a product to a degree of how we treat the people in our lives or respond to the treatment of others.
Lesson 5; Regardless of what people think of us, or vice versa, remember that at some point, you will only be a memory to some. So do your best to be a GOOD ONE!